Family Values

Recently, I’ve really been pondering over the importance of family values. the teachings taught from young, the way you are brought up, the things they tell you, the things you see, all makes a difference. And of course, the amount of time you spend together, but not only that, the quality is important as well.

I’ve seen so many families which are not very gelled together, I won’t even say dysfunctional. Your family is the only one there for you when all else fails, they are the ones that stick by no matter what happens and they are the ones that form your thinking and mindset. I was rather sad yesterday when I see a mother and the son ‘bargaining’ a deal – if he listens to her, she’ll reward him. I was also very sad whenever I see a parent being absurdly biased towards or against one child, just because he’s the oldest or youngest. I always think parenthood is an art, one thing you can never learn by the books. But yet it’s so important. And the worst thing about this is that it has a spiral effect down the generations, where the way you teach your kids is the way they are going to teach their kids.

I thank God for wonderful and mature parents, who were always fair whenever Jac and I fight when we were young. They were never biased but taught us both to be humble and say “sorry” even if we think it’s not our fault. I thank God for parents who are loving and sacrifice for my family. I know parents are also humans and they need friends, but when I look at my parents, I don’t think they have much friends, the price they had to pay for this family. With that, I think it is very important to spend quality time with family. That’s why my June holidays are very important.. december holidays are fun, the adults spend time with the adults and the kids with the kids, but there are really not much quality family time. Actually I feel rather sad too when I see families not spending quality time together.. It’s like something wasted. I guess some parents are just too selfish and care too much about their own fun and comfort that they ask friends along for trips and they can have their adult talks and enjoy themselves but it’s really not building the kids up. Oh well, if they are so selfish, then even more they should spend quality time with the kids, because if they don’t, the kids might not grow up healthy emotionally and the parents themselves will have a hard time in the future… talking about being selfish huh!

And some parents really teach their kids the wrong things, their kids become soooo materialistic! Everything becomes a business deal for the kids and I really cannot stand kids who are like that because once it becomes part of them and their belief systems since young, they start of with the wrong attitude and it will be very hard for them to go far in life because there’s no more love and selfless sacrifice. Everything must be a deal. Sigh, rather sad… And some kids become so materialistic, as I say… And one more thing I cannot stand is people who cannot control their finances well or people who are materialistic. It’s one thing to be able to afford it and splurge, but it’s another thing to not be able to afford it and covet. I think desiring is fine, but it cannot be such a great part of you or else you’ll be led astray by that desire… Personally when I look at things, I look at its value and not its brand. Okay, some brands are classic (like Chanel!) but some brands are really overrated… Some people might argue that brand is value, but pleaseeee, it depreciates.

Was talking to dad just now and he was talking about the way the rich kids spend money and have fun in life. And he asked me to avoid them, don’t even make friends with them, don’t talk about hanging out and taking them as a potential husband. Sometimes I think God is fair, like for me, I have the ability but I don’t spend a lot; as compared to some who can’t really afford the things but splurge on them. That’s why God put His resources this way. haha! But then again, maybe not. There are still those rich kids out there who spend money like crazy. I just thank God I’m not one of them. :) Today my dad just talked about finding the right kind of guy in my life. Don’t find a rich one, he said! Hahaha!

Some things I am very serious about, some things I can compromise. Life is not perfect. I cannot control a lot of things, but I would like to control the teachings in my family now, at least for my still-growing-and-mouldable sisters and also for my family next time. That’s the least I can do.

PS: If this entry provokes you, I’m really sorry. I just feel strongly about this, hence all these came out. Seen too much and known too much already.. I think I’m becoming a mother…

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